I was going to actually write something today, but it’s after five already and I just realized I haven’t eaten anything yet today. I woke up with a cat curled up by my feet and stayed in bed late listening to the rain, which was a nice start to the day. By the time I woke up, it was already past the time I usually eat lunch, but I’m never hungry when I first wake up, so I started doing other things. Then I started wondering why I was so hungry and realized what time it was. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I know I need to start taking better care of myself, but some days it’s just difficult to drag yourself out of bed and start the day.
And once again I find myself needing to make a post that’s not at all what I planned because I put off doing what I said I would do. I said I would post a completed short story, but I barely wrote anything this week. I could go back to stories I’ve already finished and choose one of them, but I waited too long and I don’t have time today.
I keep telling myself that I just got busy with other things and that I’ll get to it when I have time, but I could have made time earlier in the week. I could have made time to write something. I think I’m just letting my nerves get to me, so I’m putting it off. I don’t know why I’m so anxious about this. I guess sharing an actual completed story is a bigger step than just sharing a couple paragraphs, but it’s a step I need to take. I need to get more comfortable with the idea of people reading things I wrote.
I will post something. Soon. Because I’m tired of being so afraid of putting things out into the world.
There isn’t a Wordbound prompt this week, which was great because I decided to participate in reading bingo, in which you have to read books that meet certain criteria depicted on a bingo board. I finished my three books to get a bingo yesterday, so now I’m on book number four and on my way to a double bingo. As much as I love writing, it was nice to have an excuse to just sit and read instead. I haven’t been reading much lately, but I realized how much I missed it, and I want to make more time for it.
Other than that I haven’t done much this week. I didn’t do much writing this week other than finishing a short story. As usual, I got a bit sidetracked on the story I’ve been working on because I was trying to figure out every little detail before writing, which means no actual writing gets done. So this week I’m not allowing any more distractions and I’m going to really get into writing this draft. There are some pretty important things that I do need to figure out, but they won’t come up for a few chapters, so I have some time.
I think that’s it for this week. I wanted to come up with something to actually write about here, but this will have to be good enough. I’ve got a lot of other stuff I need to be working on right now and I’m sure there will be a longer/better post next week. Honestly, I just feel a bit exhausted right now and just want to curl up and watch a silly movie, so I think that’s what I’ll do.
This week was rough. I don’t want to go into the details, but there are parts of my life that I’m not very happy with and right now I don’t have the means to change them. I’m working on it, but it will take some time. So, for now, I just have to try to make the best of the situation.
For a long time, I’d been very unfocused in my writing. I’d scribble down an idea when it popped into my head and then work on it for a bit until the next idea came along and then I would move on. So at the beginning of the year, I decided to narrow my focus and work on three different projects. My two favorites that I’ve stuck with the longest, and a third that was meant to be the comic relief if I got tired of the drama of the other two. But it quickly became apparent that the third project just wasn’t going to work. I just couldn’t focus on something that was solely meant to be upbeat and happy and ignorant of the problems of the world. Eventually, in my determination to actually finish something, I decided to focus only on a story I’ve been writing about superheroes.
It was obvious why that story spoke to me the most. Every day a new, terrifying news story comes out and it’s hard to focus on anything else. I couldn’t write that happy story when I felt like the world was crumbling around me. But I could write about people trying to fix the world’s problems. I think we could all use some superheroes to believe in right now.
I went to see Wonder Woman today and I realized why this story had become so important to me. For the two hours I sat in that theater, I actually got to take a break from everything and see a glimpse of hope. There are a lot of terrible things going on in the world right now, but there are also a lot of people fighting for good. And that’s the story I need to be writing. I need to see the superheroes fighting to change the world.
I didn’t write much this week, but I feel more determined than ever to continue this story and, eventually, share it.